Observations, Inspiration and Oddities

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2011-10-07T13:44:00.000-04:00

Meeting Personalities

2011-01-28T10:25:00.002-05:00

I finds different personality interactions during meetings fascinating. In today's meeting we have the:

Academic
Primarily concerned about framework, definitions and process.
Confidently Uninformed
Presents opinion with the confidence that because they've uttered it, it then becomes absolute data-driven fact (e.g. Anthony Scalia and the Pope).
Impatient Pragmatist
Wants to cancel the meeting and get to work on the first draft, believes that iterative "doing" is far more productive than talking.
Demotivated Pessimist
Those who've given up and are willing to ride a sinking ship as long as possible. Make occasional contributions, but gives up easily due to historical lack of progress.

Today, I'm #3. Who wants to define some additional meeting personalities?

Not all Rhetoric is Equal

2011-01-18T09:10:00.003-05:00

So the media has decided that "both sides" need to tone down their political rhetoric. Cowards. Afraid to tell the truth so as not to be labeled "liberal".

Fear-mongering and hateful speech have been Republican hallmarks since the Regan era -- and perfected by none other than Karl Rove. Examples you say? Here you go:

"I tell people don't kill all the liberals. Leave enough so we can have two on every campus - living fossils - so we will never forget what these people stood for."

- Rush Limbaugh, Denver Post, 12-29-95

"Get rid of the guy. Impeach him, censure him, assassinate him."

- Rep. James Hansen (R-UT), talking about President Clinton

"We're going to keep building the party until we're hunting Democrats with dogs."

- Senator Phil Gramm (R-TX), Mother Jones, 08-95

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building."

- Ann Coulter, New York Observer, 08-26-02

"We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."

- Ann Coulter, at the Conservative Political Action Conference, 02-26-02

"Chelsea is a Clinton. She bears the taint; and though not prosecutable in law, in custom and nature the taint cannot be ignored. All the great despotisms of the past - I'm not arguing for despotism as a principle, but they sure knew how to deal with potential trouble - recognized that the families of objectionable citizens were a continuing threat. In Stalin's penal code it was a crime to be the wife or child of an 'enemy of the people.' The Nazis used the same principle, which they called Sippenhaft, 'clan liability.' In Imperial China, enemies of the state were punished 'to the ninth degree': that is, everyone in the offender's own generation would be killed and everyone related via four generations up, to the great-great-grandparents, and four generations down, to the great-great-grandchildren, would also be killed."

- John Derbyshire, National Review, 02-15-01

"Two things made this country great: White men & Christianity. The degree these two have diminished is in direct proportion to the corruption and fall of the nation. Every problem that has arisen (sic) can be directly traced back to our departure from God's Law and the disenfranchisement of White men."

- State Rep. Don Davis (R-NC), emailed to every member of the North Carolina House and Senate, reported by the Fayetteville Observer, 08-22-01

And we can end with the brilliant commentary of the Motor City Madman...

God doesn't need your help

2010-09-10T09:44:00.006-04:00

Extremist Christians in Florida want to burn Qur'ans - because God told them to do it. Extremist Muslims are outraged and promising death to America - because God shall not be insulted. The Pope is insulted that "secular courts" are meddling in Godly affairs by prosecuting rapist priests. Idiot Baptists quote God as "Hating Fags".

Can we all stop fighting over what we think our all-powerful invisible friend and the corresponding magic infallible book wants us to do? I don't care how many Qur'ans, Bibles, Torahs, Scientology, Harry Potter books, Mormon Bibles or Grimm's Fairy Tales books we burn - they're just books. They aren't people.

We shouldn't have to fear what true believers will do just because someone doesn't respect or believe in their faith. The faithful have chosen to believe, not based on fact or observable phenomenon. They've chosen - made a leap of faith - because that's how they want to live their lives. That's where it needs to end, with their lives. Stay out of mine.

If an all powerful God exists, and chooses to intercede in human affairs, then God does not need your help defending His / Her honor. And I don't care if God "talked" to you. He / She talked to me too. Said you were crazy and wrong.

James Toney's Loss Hurts Boxing

2010-09-02T14:07:00.003-04:00

So James Toney, a past-his-prime elite boxer was just beaten-up badly by Randy Couture, a past-his-prime elite MMA fighter.

What have we learned? What everyone already knew; a good boxer would beat an MMA fighter in a boxing match. An MMA fighter will beat a boxer in an MMA, BJJ, Wrestling, or Kickboxing match. But here's the rub, and why this loss hurt boxing:

An MMA fighter would destroy a boxer in a street fight.

The hype of the "bad ass boxer" is over. No longer is boxing's heavyweight champ the toughest dude in the room. That title clearly goes to the MMA fighters. The death of the boxer as the "toughest man" will hurt boxing far more than the corruption of Don King and the other idiot boxing promoters ever did.

Taxes and the monster under your bed...

2010-08-27T10:32:00.002-04:00

Taxes, taxes, taxes! How do U.S. taxes compare to the rest of the industrialized world?

Living Up to Our Principles Isn't Easy

2010-08-20T13:41:00.006-04:00

I recently had a conversation about the so-called "Ground-zero" mosque with a friend. My friend is bright, very successful and normally a level-headed guy.

When it comes to the mosque, he's taken a position that only some of us deserve to have the rights guaranteed by the constitution. He's not the only acquaintance to make this argument.

Our short dialog took place on Facebook (click image at left to read.) It became increasingly disturbing because of his attack on my faith as part of a discussion about constitutional rights.

If people like my friend can go off the deep end, and FOX can con 20% of population into believing that Obama is a Muslim (socialist, communist, fascist, non-citizen, blah, blah, blah) then we as a country are in a sorry state...

Recent Petersen Pond Intrusion

2010-06-19T20:00:00.006-04:00

June 19, 2010

To: The Fish of Petersen Pond
From: People for the Ethical Treatment of Pond Animals (PETPA)
RE: Recent Pond Invasion

Dear Fish of Petersen Pond,

We've recently learned of Diane Petersen's negligent intrusion into your tranquil underwater environment. While no fish was harmed, we understand that you feared for your lives and suffered quite a bit of emotional trauma. We've further learned that many of you are now suffering from Anthropophobia and are seeking professional counseling.

We at PETPA stand ready to assist you. Should you require legal counsel,short term medical assistance or even pond relocation services, count on PETPA to help. We've petitioned the management of Petersen Pond to install a safety rail around the perimeter to protect you, the residents of Petersen Pond, from further trauma.

Please contact your local PETPA representative if you have further questions.

PETPA Field Director,

Gretchen Goldfish

Healthcare for Christians

2010-01-20T16:35:00.002-05:00

My next car will be an American car...

2009-05-14T19:48:00.002-04:00

My next car will be an American car. I think it's the right thing to do. But I'm pissed.

I'm pissed that the leadership of these great companies couldn't get their business in order. I'm pissed when I look at the badge engineering that what passed for innovation and engineering in the 70's and 80's.

Remember when we'd see the exact same car marketed as a Chevy, Olds, Pontiac, and Cadillac – with the only difference between the cars being different grills, taillights and "sporty" stickers?

Consider the late sixties, early seventies Chevy Nova. I loved this generation Nova, but did we really need the corresponding Buick Apollo, Oldsmobile Omega, and Pontiac Ventura versions of the same car? How about the 80's delivery of the "import fighting" X-body cars: Chevy Citation, Olds Omega, Pontiac Phoenix, and Buick Skylark? Some executive marketing weenie must have thought we were all idiots. The crappy trend continued in the 90's with the Chevy Cavalier, Buick Skyhawk, Cadillac Cimarron, Oldsmobile Firenza, and/or the Pontiac Sunbird. The Cadillac Cimarron had to be one of the worst product decision in modern automotive history. Again the marketing weenies struck.

Please tell me the name of the marketing weenie at Pontiac that decided gluing plastic body cladding to their cars would make them "exciting". That guy must have moved to Chevy just in time to make the first generation of the Chevy Avalanche trucks as ugly as possible with the square wheel wells and the plastic "I watch too much science fiction" body cladding. (Thank God that Bob Lutz came in and killed all that plastic puke on the cars.)

You'd think GM would learn. But they don't, and they're still at it today. Who drives the Chevy Cobalt, Pontiac G5 or Saturn Ion? Why the hell did Pontiac need a freakin' G5? Why did Buick need an SUV? WTF?

GM's management has had 30 years to come up with a competitor to the Honda Civic and chose not to do it. Instead they delivered a parade of badge-engineered, over-marketed, under-designed cars every 5 years. At least GM was able to spend the R&D money creating all the glossy brochures and advertising the same car five different ways (those marketing weenies again).

This isn't the people building the cars, or designing the cars. It is short-sighted marketing weenie "how can we make some money NOW" thinking. It's newly-minted MBA "get rich quick and get out before the shit hits the fan" strategy. It's more "Be good to the shareholders and Wall Street and screw the workers and our customers" thinking. It's the kind of thinking that killed many an American business.

What if I was running GM right now? Sadly, I'd have to consolidate to three brands -- Chevy, GMC, and Cadillac:

Chevy would pick up the few valuable Pontiac vehicles and consolidate all the light duty trucks and SUV's. Chevy would then compete for mainstream buyers against the Asian brands.
GMC would exit the SUV business and focus exclusively on heavy duty and commercial trucks.
Cadillac would be my premium line and would compete at the higher end of the market with the German brands.

There would be ZERO product bleed over. R&D would be concentrated into the remaining product line. ALL the marketing weenies, overhead, accountants and overpaid execs at the dead brands get canned.

I'm almost done. I've also had it with Fox News and their continual attack on labor and the unions. The unions build the cars as designed and approved by management. The unions didn't make the cars ugly. The unions didn't decide to try to sell the same car with 5 different grills glued to it. The unions didn't pay Rick Wagoner $14.5 million dollars in 2007. Did Rick do anything worth $14.5M in 2007? F.A. Henderson made $7.6 million in 2007. Bob Lutz made $7 million and I think he earned it just by killing the plastic crap at Pontiac. Finally a car guy!

I hope GM survives. I hope their management grows a soul, some brains, and learns not to underestimate their consumers.

Oh. I think my next car will be a Chevy Volt. I just hope it isn't co-marketed with a Cadillac Capacitor, Pontiac Proton, Buick Bolt, or a Saturn Shock.

Brad

Kids and Air Travel Simplified

2009-03-31T11:10:00.001-04:00

Reid + Pelosi = Disaster

2009-01-05T11:57:00.003-05:00

A short letter to Mr. Reid today regarding Obama's open senate seat:

Dear Mr. Reid,

Unless you can show that Mr. Burris is somehow tainted, you must allow him to be seated. You do nothing but drag out an ugly scenario, and you do so at the national level. If Mr. Burris is otherwise qualified, then let him be seated.

You and Ms. Pelosi are both incredible failures. Neither has had the nerve to impeach a president we know lied to start a war, disgraced himself and our country by blaming his own torture policies on "bad apples", and continues his historic incompetence to this day.

I saw you quoted as saying "We think we're pretty clear on what we believe is the law and precedent in the U.S Senate. We're the ones who determine, Democrats and Republicans, determine who's going to sit in the Senate," Reid says."

With all due respect, B.S. It's the U.S. citizens who decide who sits in our senate, not you or your party. Put this debacle behind us. Close ranks around Mr. Burris as a fine candidate.

You and Ms. Pelosi need to get in line behind Obama and execute his mandate. We the people as a nation elected Obama to lead -- we didn't elect you and Ms. Pelosi to be co-leaders. Do a good job for Nevada and other than that, get out of the way.

Disgusted with how spineless, useless and brain dead you and Ms. Pelosi must be...

Brad

New Grammar

2008-11-06T13:50:00.005-05:00

I'm looking forward to a few words changing after Obama is in the White House:

"Nook-yoo-ler" will once again be nuclear.

"Strategery" will once again be strategy.

"Ah-mer-ca" will once again be America.

Are there more?

For the Animal Lovers..

2008-11-06T07:09:00.001-05:00

Fox News World Map

2008-11-05T21:35:00.002-05:00

Socialsim! It's coming to get me!

2008-11-03T09:18:00.004-05:00

Here are the tax rates, as proposed by Obama and McCain.

See details of each candidate's plans.

USA Wealth Distribution

2008-10-28T07:41:00.002-04:00

News flash. It turns out the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Who knew? Here's some great data on wealth distribution in the U.S.A. -- check out graphs 5, 6, and 7.

This helps explain why the wealthiest 1% pay the bulk of the US taxes -- it's because they own the bulk of the US assets...

I do think this "socialism" thing has hit a nerve. McCain's not talking about killing graduated taxation so his policy is really no different, but he is making hay accusing Obama of socialism.

Obama could have avoided this whole attack by rasing taxes by 3% on everyone -- we have two wars and several bailouts fund, and it's clear we need to raise revenues.

Sad that many Americans are patriotic "as long as it doesn't inconvenience me or cost me any money." Do Americans really expect that their only additional contribution to the war should be magnetic ribbons and flags on their bumpers?

Daytona Florida in the Daylight

2008-10-25T14:56:00.006-04:00

Tourist towns, especially beach towns, always look a bit third-world in the light of day. Walking around Daytona Beach on an overcast October day had the same feeling one must get walking through a roadside carnival during setup or tear down.

Looking back at the hotels from the main pier I thought this could easily be any beach town accross the world. There were the same run-down looking buildings, and the same transient-looking people.

Only Christians May Apply

2008-10-18T13:15:00.003-04:00

The Bush administration's assault on the separation of church and state took another step forward this week.

Have any of the true believers seen what happens when religion has too much control over policy and government? Take a trip through the middle east for several enlightening examples...

Or you could just study US history. The pilgrims risked their lives to get away from a country where the king ruled by divine right. That's right you little religious nutbags, the pilgrims risked their lives to escape a theocratic, christian, government. Now you want one here. Idiots.

Can't Resist...

2008-10-14T19:15:00.002-04:00

Are you flipping me off?

2008-10-05T13:16:00.007-04:00

During my flight to Little Rock, AR I was browsing the Skymall catalog and ran accross an image of a spilled milk shake in an add for AutoSport's WeatherTech floor mats.

Is it just me, or did the people setting up this photo basically give us the bird?

This isn't some Photoshop hack either. Take a look at the image on AutoSport's catalog page.

I'm going to drop the folks at AutoSport a note and see if I can get a reply from them.

Brad Koch for President

2008-10-03T10:40:00.005-04:00

I’m running on the “It’s all just a big game of Risk” platform. First few actions:

Economic Policy.
Pay off current Financial Crisis by KEEPING IRAQ. Sunni / Shia my ass, you’re all Americans now. Everyone, say hello to the 51st state. I’m figuring I can pay off the trillion in my first term – we’ll just have to get rid of all of the foreigners who currently live there.

Energy Policy.
Screw Arizona. I’m going to cover the whole damn state in Solar Panels and power the U.S.A. with sunlight. What were all those retirees thinking moving to the surface of the sun just so they could waste water turning desert into golf courses.

Educational Policy.
The #1 cause of stupid kids are stupid parents. I’ll put birth control in the water (along with Fluoride) and you’ll need to score over 800 on your SAT to get the antidote.

Foreign Policy.
Invade Kamchatka as a base of operations for future Asian exploits

Health Care.
What health care. Eat an apple a day. (I'm open for donations from the banana lobby...)

My campaign is sweeping the nation!

See the latest news story!

If McCain was a Democrat

2008-09-26T10:44:00.004-04:00

If McCain were a democrat, Fox "News" would be "Swiftboating" him 24 / 7:

"All he did in his military services was crash three planes and get shot down in two others (once by an American pilot). Then he was captured. That's five kills -- all U.S. planes -- I guess that makes McCain a North Vietnamese Ace.

"How did McCain betray American while in captivity? And which football team did he really name?"

"Has McCain been brainwashed by the Vietcong while in prison? Will he go crazy in office?"

"What psychological damage does he suffer from his time as a POW?"

Of course, only the republicans or Fox are mean spirited enough to pull this crap. Anyone who participated (or believed) the Swift Boating of Kerry should be ashamed. If the Dems had any balls they'd be doing the same to McCain. The Dems will never win until they're willing to stoop to the crap pulled by the Republicans...

Oh, and if Sarah Palin was a Democrat? Fox would be asking "If Sarah Palin can't keep teenage boys out of her teenage daughter's panties, how's she going to keep terrorists out of America?"

The Partridge Family and Politics

2008-08-28T23:41:00.004-04:00

I was browsing Youtube recently and came accross some video from the old Partridge Family television show.

I was struck by the resemblance of Shirley Jones, who played Mom Partridge, to Hillary Clinton.

Sending Balls to Nanci Pelosi

2008-08-15T19:59:00.005-04:00

Today I drop-shipped a six-pack of balls to Nanci Pelosi. It’s obvious to me that she, and the rest of the democratic party, need to grow some.

We know our idiot president lied about Iraqi WMDs, Iraqi ties to Al-Qaeda, and Iraqi attempts to buy nuclear materials.
We know our idiot president ordered the CIA to forge documents to help sell his lies.
We know our idiot president lied about torture.
We know our idiot president lied about betraying an acting CIA agent.
We know our idiot president lied about illegally wiretapping U.S. citizens.

Lying to start a war is treason.

Of course, we all know these things, but the democrats in congress are more worried about winning seats for their party than they are doing what’s right for the country.

If Nanci and the rest of the democrats had any balls, perhaps we’d be rid of our idiot president. Now that Russia has invaded Georgia, is anyone happy that our idiot president is still in office?

I'll follow up with any communications that come back from her office about the balls. Do you think they'll send a "thank you" card?

If you'd like to send some balls, send them here:

Nanci Pelosi
14th Floor
450 Golden Gate Ave.
San Francisco, CA 94102

Here come the dark ages!

2008-07-22T15:36:00.001-04:00

So you think you can dance

2008-07-21T02:29:00.003-04:00

My wife is addicted to the reality show "So you think you can dance." I've watched with her a few times and have always felt that one of the judges, Mary Murphy, reminded me of another celebrity. Then I figured it out; she doesn't remind of a single celebrity -- she's the visual child of two celebrities!

This combination of "parents"captures her perfectly. Donkey has her teeth, laugh, and the precursor to her many "woooooo-hooooos" on the show. Rosie just looks like her. Check her out for yourself.

Dear Mr. Nader

2008-02-24T14:44:00.000-05:00

Mr. Nader,

How much are Karl Rove and Rupert Murdoch paying you to run for office?

Your arrogance put that idiot Bush in office and led to the biggest political disaster this country has ever seen.

As much as I've admired you over my life, I have nothing but contempt for you now.

Please, please, please, for the sake of the country, just go away.

Brad

When to worry about your neighbor's kids...

2008-02-02T08:20:00.000-05:00

Oprah the Jesus Inteview

2008-01-04T20:05:00.001-05:00

Yes Oprah has the interview of the millenium, and her picture is still on the cover.

Has anyone else noticed her habit of interrupting a guest's story to relate it to herself?

Guest: "I overcame blindness to open my own restaurant.."

Oprah: "When I opened my own restaurant, with [insert name-drop here] , I had similar issues.

Guest: "I had to saw my own arm off to save myself after being trapped under a rock in the wilderness"."

Oprah: "I went hiking on my 5,000 acre farm and got lost. The Dali Lama rescued me."

Yep, she's done it all, and still hasn't found anyone more interesting that herself to put on the cover.

2006-12-01T13:37:00.000-05:00

Keith Olbermann sets the record straight on 2001

Bush: Still a dilletante fraternity boy with no attention to detail. Goes with his "gut" and that's just not good enough.

A Little Samuel L. Jackson Flavor

2006-11-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

You know the abbreviations you use when chatting online? The abbreviations might be:

LOL (laughing out out)
BRB (be right back)
TTFN (Ta-ta for now)

Well if you add a little Samuel L. Jackson flavor to them they become much more entertaining:

LOLMF (laughing out loud muther fuc$er)
BRBMF (be right back muther fuc$er)
TTFNMF (Ta-ta for now muther fuc$er)

See? They're all much better with a little Samuel L. Jackson flavor. Try adding a bit of SLJ flavor to your daily communications.

CUL8RMF...

2006-11-02T18:01:00.000-05:00

The Great Cornholio

I always loved this episode.

Letter to a Preacher

2006-09-19T14:46:00.000-04:00

Rev. Louis P. Sheldon
Traditional Values Coalition
139 "C" Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
Phone: (202) 547-8570
Fax: (202) 546-6403

Dear Rev. Louis P. Sheldon,

It's nice to see a Christian organization support the president in his assertion that he has the right to vigorously interrogate (okay, some squeamish folks might call it torture) any and all potential enemies of this country.

I think it was Jesus himself who said "torture your enemies". Oh wait, Jesus didn't say that, but Lord knows He would if he had to face these enemies of freedom. He'd recant that "love your enemies" stuff in a heartbeat if He was here today.

For the lord was clear that we must NOT "turn the other cheek" and we are NOT to treat others as we'd like them to treat us. Wait a minute, that's not right either. Freedom isn't free! Eye for an eye. Kill 'em all! That's better. We're to do to them what they do to us -- or do worse first.

Look we have to interrogate these "people" (and I put them in quotes because they're not christians) to protect ourselves. The fact that it may lead to similar treatment of our soldiers is not the worry of this administration, or the church -- we're all to old to have to serve and thus don't have to be concerned.

In God I Trust,

Brad

P.S. When can we start burning witches, or at least stone a few gays to death?

Drinking & Nuns

2006-06-20T08:26:00.000-04:00

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

Signs of the Coming Dark Ages

2006-06-14T20:42:00.000-04:00

Sign #1: Southern Baptists -- Yes they're considering pulling their children from public schools because they don't like how homosexuals and science are represented in our schools. We're looking at an increase in tribalism and a decrease in the sense of being an American. Here's a great rant on the subject.

Sign #2: Conservative Islam -- That's right, they're lobbying for society at large to accommodate their "modesty laws." Read the article, it's crazy.

Sign #3: The Jesus Pan -- Yes you can cook your food while burning the cross and a likeness of Jesus into your food. How better to "take the body of Christ" than to pull his head off a pancake!

Forgive Me...

2006-06-14T10:48:00.000-04:00

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just as he approached the intersection . He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

Still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' and 'One Nation Under God' bumper stickers and the chrome-plated fish emblem on the trunk. Forgive me, but I assumed you had stolen the car."

Dr. Evil or General Hayden?

2006-05-18T18:31:00.000-04:00

Dr. Evil makes an encore appearance as "Duh-bya's" nominee to head up the CIA..

Funniest Protest Poster I've Seen

2006-04-11T21:51:00.000-04:00

Chicago Sportswriters, Hoosier Basketball & Hicks

2006-03-14T17:54:00.000-05:00

Mike Nadel, a Chicago-based sportswriter, was speculating on the future of IU hoops while in Indy for the big ten tournament. While Mike was pontificating on the IU coaching situation, he failed to notice that IU Athletic Director Rick Greenspan sitting immediately behind him. Apparently he upset Mr. Greenspan -- especially his comment about Hoosiers being hicks. Or more precisely all but approximately three dozen Hoosier's are hicks.

So I decided to drop him a note, and much to my suprise, he wrote back immediately. My original note and his reply are shown below. The thread will make more sense if you read his article first.

My note to Mike:

I am one of the "three dozen" Hoosier non-hicks you apologized to in your column. I have an experiment I'd like you to try, and no it doesn't involve advanced flexibility or any of your orifices.

The experiment is simple: drive southwest out of Chicago for three hours. You'll find yourself in the middle of the same cornfields and farms that you see here in Indiana. In fact, central Illinois is even more backward than central Indiana. If not for Chicago, your entire state would be hicks.

The difference? Our hicks are smarter than your hicks. Illinois ranks 32nd among states in terms of educational achievement, while Indiana ranks 26th. That makes you guys just a bit smarter than the folks in Utah, and a bit dumber than those in Ohio. Ohio dude. You lost to Ohio. Other than Northwestern, your colleges are known more for the amount of beer consumed and the number of public nudity arrests than they are for academics -- or sporting success for that matter.

Lets talk sports. The Colts are better than the Bears. The Pacers can take the Bulls. Our minor league baseball franchise the Indians can probably take the Cubs 3 out of 5. No one cares about the White Sox or Blackhawks (hockey?). You have no motorsports to speak of, while we have the Indy 500, the Brickyard 400 and the Formula One race here.

All this said, you're welcome to visit any time. I'll buy you a drink or two and listen to you talk about IU basketball. I'll even point out any supermodel sports reporters sitting two seats away from us....

Mike's Reply:

Of all the angry notes I got from Hoosiers, Brad, yours was by far my favorite. You use a lot of good humor and make many good points. It was just me poking fun -- and anyone who read the piece saw that I poked more fun at myself than anything.

Yes, I do get away from Chicago -- and I've poked fun of "downstaters" and the "interesting" smells that come from the farms. Again, anyone who takes this stuff too personally has some problems.

I'd love to use your email in a future letters column. Please provide your hometown.

Thanks again for writing.

I look forward to seeing his forthcoming articles...

But Republican's Don't Care

2006-02-10T14:19:00.000-05:00

More evidence that Mr. Bush purposely misled the country to start a war in support of a pre-determined agenda. The ends justify the means, right?

Keep your god out of my cartoons!

2006-02-03T15:50:00.000-05:00

Newsflash! I am not of your faith, I don't believe in your religion. I don't have to follow your rules. In the civilized world "blasphemy" ceased being a capital crime centuries ago. Lighten up or my Rain God will flood you.

La Vida Cubicle

2006-02-02T08:27:00.000-05:00

My emergency job replacement program.

Laptop, shrine to bride, and a bamboo plant.

Umbrella with tag "for the occassional shit storm"

Potrait of my idol, Scott Meyers. Zoom in for the autograph.
You can visit his web site if you like.

A real sense of humor...

2006-01-19T19:29:00.000-05:00

Ass of the Year & Most Likely to Cause another War

2005-12-14T14:32:00.000-05:00

Iran's idiotic President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad recenly called the Nazi Holocaust a "myth" and said Europe, the U.S. and Canada should use their own land for a Jewish state.

The West has "fabricated a myth under the name 'Massacre of the Jews,' and they hold it higher than God himself, religion itself and the prophets themselves,'' Iran's leader told thousands of supporters in the southeastern Sistan-Baluchestan province, in a speech aired live today on state television.

How ignorant and backward do the Iranian citizens have to be to elect this guy? I know he's pushed a populist message of job creation, housing and a focus on Iranian infrastructure -- but his recent messages are utterly irresponisble.

This dude makes our own president seem an emminently resonable Rhode's Scolar!

Prancer meets Ted Nugent

2005-12-08T10:40:00.000-05:00

Santa made the mistake of landing at the Motor City Madman's Michigan compound during a pre-Christmas check out flight of his new sleigh.

The results were predictable, with Mr. Nugent quickly sending an arrow from his compound bow through Prancer's heart. "Hey, I've 'No Trespassing' signs all over this place. It's his fault for landing here." said Ted.

For his part Santa was stoic. "He was an old reindeer anyway. Prancer was one of the original reindeer, and if I had to lose one of them, it was best that Prancer was hit."

Asked if Mr. Nugent's "Not Nice" status would be changed by this event Santa noted that "Ever since Ted began stumping for that idiot 'Dubya' he's had no chance of getting on the 'good' list."

Visibly upset Santa continued, "That idiot president keeps saying global warming needs more study. Ho! Ho! Ho! perhaps the twerp should visit my house at the North Pole! It's like freakin' Venice Italy there -- the misses and I have to wear hip waders all the time, and I can't count the number of elves that have drowned!"

Memorial services for Prancer have been cancelled as Mr. Nugent has already dressed and prepared Prancer for a New Year's Eve dinner with his band.

Extreme Snow Removal

2005-12-08T09:10:00.000-05:00

Just in time for Indianapolis' first big snowfall of the year I came across the V8 Snowblower company.

It's exactly what the name suggests, a 454 cubic inch Chevrolet big block engine built into a snowblower. The manufacturer says the snowblower "will send the snow back to it's maker".

Their site has a video of the snowblower in action as well. This would be blast to run up and down my driveway, sidewalk, street, interstate -- I doubt much would stop this thing.

I am the Lord thy God....

2005-12-07T11:37:00.000-05:00

A classic from the Onion reveals that the voice Dubya thought was the Lord's was in fact Dick Cheney on the intercom...

Worst Job Ever

2005-12-03T19:24:00.001-05:00

The linked video is truly funny and features one of the most creative strings of profanity I've ever heard. If you don't mind a fair bit of extreme profanity, the video provides a truly funny punchline.

Chris Rock on a Crazy Year

2005-12-01T09:57:00.000-05:00

Chris Rock's Quote of the Year:

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is white, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick' and 'Colon'."

Bathroom Humor -- an Ongoing Collection

2005-11-27T20:52:00.000-05:00

Now we begin a semi-regular post featuring words of wisdom (or not) found in central Indiana's public bathrooms. To get things started, I'll post four bits of grafitti:

"Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." (seen above a urinal)
"You may hover above this seat, but I.U. crabs can jump three feet."
"Go Colts! And take the Pacers with you!"
"Jesus loves you." "The rest of us think you're a dick."
"If your hose is short and pump is weak you better stand closer or you'll pee on your feet."

More as I find them.

No Pardon for Libby

2005-11-24T11:59:00.000-05:00

Democratic Senators letter to Mr. Bush "Don't pardon Libby!"

November 8, 2005

The Honorable George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President:

The indictment of I. Lewis Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff, marks the first time in 131 years that a senior White House official has been charged with a crime while still serving in the White House. The charges, while not yet proven, are extraordinarily serious and deeply disturbing.

Although it is too early to judge Mr. Libby guilty or innocent of these particular charges, it is not too early for you to reassure the American people that you understand the enormous gravity of the allegations. To this end, we urge you to pledge that if Mr. Libby or anyone else is found guilty vof a crime in connection with Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation, you will not exercise your authority to issue a Presidential pardon.

It is crucial that you make clear in advance that, if convicted, Mr. Libby will not be able to rely on his close relationship with you or Vice President Cheney to obtain the kind of extraordinarily special treatment unavailable to ordinary Americans. In addition you should do nothing to undermine Mr. Fitzgerald's investigation or diminish accountability in your White House. A pardon in these circumstances would signal that this White House considers itself above the law.

We also urge you to state publicly whether anyone in the White House B including White House counsel Harriet Miers or Vice President Cheney B has already discussed the possibility of a pardon with Mr. Libby. Particularly given that the American people are still in the dark about what precisely transpired in the White House with respect to the CIA leak, it would be highly inappropriate if there were such discussions going on behind the scenes.

Swift public action on your part will make clear that you take seriously perjury and obstruction of justice at the highest levels of our government and that you meant what you said about bringing Ahonor and dignity to the White House. We eagerly await your response and hope that you will announce your intentions promptly.

A Good Christian Torturing

2005-11-21T20:06:00.000-05:00

Many who voted for Mr. Bush quote Mr. Bush's supposed "strong Christian values" as a reason for their support. Many Bush supporters continue to support their president in the face of an avalanche of facts that show Mr. Bush to be incompetent at best and most likely a criminal.

The lastest embarassment for the USA comes from the Bush administration's muddled message on their use of torture.

Mr. Bush recently stated with great vigor We do not torture.

Of course at the same time VP "Tricky" Dick Cheney was lobbying for permission to continue torturing detainees.

Then we learn that the CIA has a network of secret prisons set up around the globe.

You'd think the "holier than thou" Republicans would be outraged by this network of secret prisons and secret use of torture. You'd be wrong. Instead of addressing the damage done to the USA's reputation by these prisons, Republican leadership decided to attack the messenger.

Wonder what we're doing to people in those prisons? Wonder no longer, an ex-CIA officer describes the approved methods. These are the methods approved by Attorney General Gonzales, Rumsfeld and Cheney.

Of course the administration can never say "We're sorry" or "We're wrong". So they deny. They claim "Our methods are unique, but not really torture."

How much longer will his followers support him? How can they leave those "W" stickers on their cars. If they care about the Republican party at all, they'll clean house.

Separated at Birth!

2005-11-16T20:00:00.000-05:00

Remember the Elf in the Rudloph Christmas story? He's a dead ringer for Conan O'Brien.

What would Jesus Drink?

2005-11-11T16:40:00.000-05:00

We’ve all seen those “What would Jesus do?” bumper stickers and bracelets. Lately I’ve seen "Who would Jesus bomb?" stickers as well.

While this line of inquiry is all well and good, I have a more important question:

What would Jesus drink?

Jesus was a carpenter who associated with laborers, farmers and fishermen -- He didn't hang out with the rich, or the well-connected. With this information, perhaps we can make some assumptions about his drink:

Martinis -- I doubt He drank martinis or any other drink that required a toothpick. They're just too "upper class" and besides, it's tough to look like the Messiah when you're gingerly sipping liquid from a martini glass.
Margaritas -- He didn't drink these either, not frozen nor on the rocks. Look, tequila can make you do some really stupid things (I know) and He couldn't afford to risk it. Suppose He got drunk on tequila and started forgiving everyone unconditionally? With unconditional forgiveness, where would the church be?
Rum Runners -- He most certainly didn't drink anything that comes in a glass with a little umbrella.
Wine -- We know He turned water into wine at a wedding, and He served wine at the last supper, but those were special occasions. He was ensuring everyone had a good time and wanted to impress his guests with the full-bodied, blood-of-your-savior, smoky flavor he could create.
Beer -- I tend to think of Jesus as a beer drinker. Beer fits better with his demographic. Carpenters, farmers and fishermen don't "pop open a bottle of wine", they down a beer. Saving the world is hard work and beer quenches thirst better than wine. Plus beer doesn't give you that killer tannin-induced headache the next day. Jesus couldn't afford to be grumpy and hung-over.

What do you think Jesus drank?

Mr. Bush -- Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!

2005-11-09T21:21:00.000-05:00

When the Abu Ghraib scandal broke, President Bush assured us that torture was not part of U.S. policy and that the scandal was entirely the fault of "a few bad apples."

Of course Mr. Bush told us this before we learned that Alberto Gonzales, Mr. Bush's White House Counsel, advised him that the Geneva Conventions were "quaint" and that in his opinion, Mr. Bush could order torture if he desired.

Mr. Bush's assertions came before Mr. Gonzales' Attorney General confirmation hearings where we learned that according to the Bush administration "the anti-torture statutes don't apply to the CIA, private contractors and prisoners held in foreign countries."

Mr. Bush's assertions came before we learned that the CIA has secret prison / torture facilities in foreign countries around the world -- thus freeing them from US law.

Mr. Bush's lies came before we learned that VP "Tricky Dick" Cheney was actively pushing a proposal in the Senate that would exempt the CIA from pending anti-torture legislation.

Mr. Bush, never one to let facts or reality intrude on his view of the world, and in contrast to his V.P. concurrent lobbying, just recently reiterated that "We do not torture."

So Mr. Bush is either incompetent or a liar. His administration is lobbying for permission to continue torturing people. The CIA has setup secret prisons under his watch. He knew all this when his administration tried to bury the blame on hard-working U.S. Soldiers who have been disgraced or jailed for doing nothing more than implementing his policy. While he's telling us "we don't torture" his VP is simultaneously lobbying for continued permission to do just that!

We impeached the last president for lying about a sexual indiscretion. Isn't this much worse?! When will the sheep in the media and his must-be-brain-dead supporters hold him accountable?

Nice Quote

2005-11-02T10:13:00.000-05:00

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. - Thomas Carlyle

It's Never Bush's Fault!

2005-10-25T21:03:00.000-05:00

I don't know who wrote this originally (I copied it a while back from Yahoo News Discussions), but I've beed adding to it since I found it -- it's a great read...

It's the liberals. It's the ACLU. It's Clinton. It's Monica. It's the "climate of permissiveness". It's France. It's the liberal media. It's Clinton's p*nis. It's Hillary. It's Gov. Dean. We never could have known they'd fly planes into buildings. "No actionable intelligence". They didn't tell us to do anything. O'Neill's lying. Clarke's lying. General Shinseki's lying. The Union of Concerned Scientists is lying. Our own weapons inspector Scott Ritter, an ex-Marine and veteran of the the first Gulf war, is lying. Bush's hand-picked successor to Ritter, David Kay, is lying. Joe Wilson's lying. John Dean's lying. Newsweek lied! CBS lied! Everyone's lying but us. We had to lie. We never lied.

Medicaid reforms will cost only $400 billion. Medicade reform will cost $740 billion. Scooter says he'd fire the employee who tells congress that the reform will cost more than $400 billion. Canada's health care is worse!

Plame outed herself. Her husband outed her. The liberals outed her. No one outed her, since everyone already knew her covert identity. Rove had nothing to do with it. Cheney had nothing to do with it. "Scooter" Libby had nothing to do with it. No comment. Lib'ral, lib'ral, lib'ral.

It's the libs that tried to pull Schiavo's feeding tube. It doesn't matter that DeLay pulled his own dad's feeding tube. "Culture of life". It's Janet Jackson's boobs; it's the Statue of Justice's boobs. Reading the news might cloud my judgement. It's the "decade our government...blinded itself to our enemies". It's the homosexuals wanting to marry. "Restore honor and dignity to the White House". A decision to go to war wasn't a decision to go to war. "No actionable intelligence". It's the pledge of allegiance. They're taking God out of America. Osama didn't tell us when, how, where, and by what means he'd attack, and he didn't leave a forwarding address. The 9/11 panel is biased against us. Saddam = Al Qaida. Saddam = Al Qaida.

Chalabi's an honorable man and I believe everything he says about WMDs. Chalabi's a crook and he passed secrets to Iran. Chalabi's the liberals' fault because they didn't shoot us when we started using his "intelligence". Chalabi? I don't know any 'Chalabi'!

"I'm against the 9/11 commission." "I'm for the 9/11 commission." "I'll won't testify before the commission." I will testify, but only if Dick Cheney is with me." "I won't testify under oath." "They hate us for our freedom."

It's just a few dead-enders. They'll be gone when we capture Saddam. "Mission Accomplished." They'll be gone when we capture Saddam's sons. They'll be gone when we hand over "sovereignty". They'll be gone when Iraq has elections. They'll be gone in 12 years. They'll never be gone.

We fight them in London so we don't have to fight them, er, uh, well, can't get fooled again! Don't forget Poland! Palau is on our side!

Bolton didn't lie! He just knowingly gave inaccurate answers under oath!

Aw, so what's another ISLAMIC STATE in the mideast? It's not like Bush has made it a home for terrorists or anything!

We had to lie to support the war. They'll throw flowers at our feet. They have unmanned aircraft that can drop biological weapons on us. Well, they had plans for unmanned aircraft. They had a students remote controlled airplane. It was 5 feet long! They don't like us!

It's all these former staffers hawking their books. Money never corrupted anyone. "I'm a uniter, not a divider!" It's the stem cells. It's the feminazis, the intellectual elitists, and the ecoterrorists.

It's the Hurricane, It's the victims. It's the poor. It's the dead. It's the disabled... the elderly. It's those that didn't evacuate. It's the buses.

It's Cthulhu. It's the martians, It's Mickey Mouse, It's The Tooth Fairy, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.,

It's ALWAYS anyone but Bush!

World's Strongest Man! How does he do it?

2005-10-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

Fitness Guru and Christian Idiot, Pat Robertson, claims he can leg press 2,000 pounds. That's right Pat can lift a ton! Read about how much he can lift, and buy his fitness shakes! I bet he got the recipe for the shakes straight from God!

My Mom Gets a New Knee

2005-10-20T20:40:00.000-05:00

My mom just had knee replacement surgery. I found a great site that explains the entire procedure. It looks damn painful to me.

Maybe it runs in the family because by the end of this year I'll have had surgery on both shoulders and both knees. It's time to stop abusing my body's joints.

So no more weights (at least anything heavy) and more cardio. I guess I'll have to learn to play golf...ouch.

100MPG in a "Greed-Rodded" Prius

2005-10-19T20:34:00.000-05:00

Calcars.org shows you how to add additional batteries to your Prius and achieve much higher gas mileage with your Prius. Calcars sister company, EDrive will be offering a kit to retrofit existing cars.

Of course none of this is new. Those crazy hippies at Mother's magazine acheived 129 MPG in 1980 in an admittedly low performance car. Still the older article is still a nice read.

When you're done updating your car for maximum mileage, grab this book to continue the modifcation process.

2005-10-15T10:08:00.000-05:00

An ancient formula...

Home Made Air Conditioner

2005-10-14T11:08:00.000-05:00

Geoff Milburn shows us than an electric fan, some copper tubing, a trash can full of ice water, and a bit of gravity and you too can build your own air conditioner.

Coolest Party Trick Ever!

2005-10-14T00:34:00.000-05:00

Drop a dozen Mentos into a 2 liter bottle of soda and you've created a rocket. Amazing. Here's the original post and the instructions.

Separation of Church and Brains

2005-10-13T22:39:00.000-05:00

Not that I'm religious (I'm a big fan of Joseph Campbell's writings), but I do hope this notion takes root and prevents the faithful from ruining this country.

Bush to Mother Nature: "Bring it On Bitch!"

2005-10-13T22:14:00.000-05:00

BUSH TO MOTHER EARTH: “BRING IT ON!”
by (Associated Press Internacionalé) Wednesday, Sep. 28, 2005 at 6:34 PM

WASHINGTON, Sept 28 - In the wake of devastation wrought by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, the Bush administration today announced a dramatic shift in the nation's security policy. “While our attention was focused on fighting evildoers,” said the president. “Our country was attacked by a new enemy, Mother Nature. But from now on America will be prepared,” said Bush. “To you Mother Nature, I say ‘Bring it on!'

Read the rest at neworleans.indymedia.org

2005-10-11T09:57:00.000-05:00

San Jaun Islands -- Vacation

Intelligent Design has Met Its Match!

2005-10-03T11:28:00.000-05:00

A group has proposed a new, equally-viable theory of creation using the lowered standards of what may qualify as "science" in Kansas .

Check out their web site for the full FSM theory and responses from the Kansans school board, scientists and others.

It's a funny read and statement of how truly sad this is for the country.

(kudos to Mr. Cohn for sending me the link to this site.)

New Evidence Explains How Noah Gathered All Those Animals!

2005-10-01T11:29:00.000-05:00

Visit Landover Baptist's web site for amazing details on how Noah gathered animals from all over the globe before the flood.

Oh, and don't forget to explore their web site. There is much truth to be found there.

Will Reality Ever Intrude?

2005-10-01T11:21:00.000-05:00

Our leadership braintrust asserts that the Iraq army is doing well! Of course this is exactly the opposite of news coming from Iraq and the opinions of our own military leaders in Iraq.

Don't our General's know that they're not supposed to tell the truth? How long before Karl Rove is in charge of all military communications?

Freakin' idiots.

Cooking an Egg . . . with your Cell Phone

2005-09-30T08:20:00.000-05:00

Don't know if this is true, but I bet a few of you will be trying it this weekend.

Great Posters from Whitehouse.org!

2005-09-29T22:25:00.000-05:00

Lazy "he said -- she said" media and the bastards at FOX "News" got you down? Check out this selection of posters.

No sex tonight. . .

2005-09-28T19:12:00.000-05:00

Another story exaggerating the differences between men and women. What was the right answer here?

Chris Rock Makes Me Laugh

2005-09-28T19:05:00.000-05:00

Chris Rock on "How not to get your ass kicked by the police." It's good advice for all of us.

Two Guys, a Zebra Suit and Lions

2005-09-26T18:19:00.000-05:00

I don't know what else to say, just watch.

United We Stand

2005-09-26T12:53:00.000-05:00

The "United We Stand" bumper stickers have begun to annoy me. "United We Stand" despite the evidence of lies? Despite the failed policies? This whole faith-based politics thing scares me. Just as proven physical evidence won't change a creationist's mind, fact and proven incompentence won't change the minds of the republican faithful. All we need now are a few good clerics and a bishop or three and we're back in the dark ages.

Dubya's Math Skills

2005-09-22T09:10:00.000-05:00

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Now, how many is a brazillion?"

Google knows Bush is a failure!

2005-09-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

Go to Google.com and search for the term 'failure', or just click here. Google always gets it right.

More on this story.

Said in a recent meeting...

2005-09-21T10:07:00.000-05:00

"I don't see how [name withheld] gets anything done with both hands so persistently and vigorously covering his ass."

Stupid Human Tricks #1

2005-09-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

I bet you can't fit your head through that chair! Oh yeah?! Watch me do it!

Bush is Invincible

2005-09-20T19:33:00.000-05:00

I wish it weren't true. I wish it weren't true. I wish it weren't true. I wish it weren't true. I wish it weren't true. . . The current FEMA director busted for misuse of government funds to help "Widiots" re-election odds in Florida....

Mercedes Fish-Inspired Car

2005-09-20T15:09:00.000-05:00

Mercedes used the boxfish as inspiration for a new prototype vechicle. The car boasts an astoundingly low drag coefficient and a 84MPG rating. Read more.

Nature inspired industrial design.

Words of Wisdom

2005-09-20T14:46:00.000-05:00

"Believing...that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between Church and State."

-- Thomas Jefferson in a letter to Danbury Baptists, 1802.

You'll find a summary of Thomas Jefferson's thoughts on religious freedom via the University of Virginia's Jefferson Library.

Biblical Law in the United States

2005-09-18T11:15:00.000-05:00

The evangelical's continued attack on our judiciary, and the republican pandering to these anti-American idiots is why I'll never vote republican. Read Catherine Crier's recent article for details.

Kanye West, President Bush and TShirt Hell

2005-09-15T18:05:00.000-05:00

The recent TShirt Hell newsletter had this opening quote:

"Kanye West said that President Bush doesn't care about black people. I think this was an incredibly insensitive statement. It was especially hurtful to the hundreds of millions of other people the President doesn't care about."
-- TShirt Hell Newsletter 09/15/2005.

Made me laugh, thought you might too.

Bush Suspends Wage Laws

2005-09-13T16:14:00.000-05:00

That's right! President Bush has suspended the prevailing wage laws for those workers who's blood and sweat will ultimately rebuild the devastated areas in Louisiana and Alabama.

More than anything, this executive order shows the true colors of Mr. Bush and the Republican party. "There's profit opportunity in every disaster" seems to be their credo.

Instead of protecting the average citizen laborers and workers, Bush is protecting the giant corporations that will win the bids for the re-construction. The big corporations, their lobbyists and their shareholders will make out like bandits.

The actual workers of the south, who are trying to rebuild their lives and whose sweat and labor will rebuild the region are being told they don't matter. Mr. Bush is telling them: "We can't afford to pay you a fair wage -- we have to fund the tax cuts we gave to the richest 1% in this country. So screw you, work for less."

Do you think Bush will limit corporate profit-taking and price gouging from the billions in tax dollars that are going to get pumped into that region? The behavior of this administration and it's allies within Haliburton, Enron and Big Oil seem to suggest that there is a winfall of money headed to those major corporations and their shareholders.

Haliburton "lost" $8.8 billion servicing our troops in Iraq. Enron created a fake energy crisis that bankrupted their company while helping the Bush Administration get their (excuse me, Exxon's) energy policy passed. And while consumers are paying gas prices that are higher than ever, Big Oil is reporting record profits.

Hmmmm. These guys really have the U.S. citizen's best interest in mind don't they?

Our Arizona Vacation

2005-09-12T18:42:00.000-05:00

A photo from inside Antelope Slot Canyon.

Bush Helps Tourism in New Orleans

2005-09-12T18:40:00.000-05:00

Too funny not to post. Too close to the truth not to be sad.

Our Lt. Governor Feels a Sense of Privilege

2005-09-08T13:00:00.000-05:00

Our new Lt. Governor, Becky Skillman, evidently doesn't feel a free car from General Motors is privilege enough.

A co-worker recently took this picture showing Ms. Skillman's Tahoe parked in a handicapped spot.

What kind of character does it take to break this law just to avoid walking a few extra feet on a sunny day? Evidently, Lt. Governor Betty Skillman feels that she should be able to break the law and inconvenience people with real handicaps. If she's willing to break little laws for her personal convenience does that make her more or less likely to break larger laws that could impact us all?

Bad judgement on trivial items shows a lack of respect for others and the law.

A little something for my geeky author friend

2005-08-29T13:56:00.000-05:00

01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011
01011001 01101111 01110101

It's time

2005-08-22T10:35:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of the presidency being marketed to the people like it's some kind of consumer product. We've heard plenty of "new", "improved", "now with god-power", and other meaningless claims. Our government isn’t some kind of laundry detergent and it deserves more respect and reverence from those working within it.

It's time for the neocons to stand down – their ideology has proven to be disastrously wrong. They’ve miscalculated and created situations where American lives are being lost that needn’t be lost.

I kindly request that the next time the Secretary of Defense feels that he has erred so egregiously that he turns in his resignation (twice!), that President Bush accept it. Loyalty to incompetence is not a virtue.

It’s time to end the supply-side madness. Trickle down economics is failing to help the average American citizen and is creating debt that would worry even former president Reagan. Gee, isn’t that what happened last time we spent like crazy?

It's time for the administration to stop using religion to divide us. We’re not all born-again Christians. We’re not all Christians. We’re not all believers. It's time for the religious right in this country to stop claiming they're being victimized -- while they work night and day to end the separate of church and state that grants them the very freedom to speak as they do. They’re beginning to act like the American Taliban.

This country needs a moment of science, a moment of fact, and most desperately a clear accounting of this administrations actions.

Red Bull vs. Alcohol

2005-08-18T20:41:00.000-05:00

I’ve taken to drinking Red Bull & Vodka’s lately – usually on those evenings when I’m a bit tired, and yet want to keep up with my drunken friends. I’ve even introduced the phrase “make it a double and bring me the can” into the local lexicon.

The Red Bull wakes you up, and the vodka makes you drunk. Thus the conflict -- the stimulants of Red Bull mix fighting the depressant effects of the alcohol in the Vodka’s alcohol. My body was host to this battle last Wednesday night.

Let’s cover the quantitative information first. I consumed approximately eight drinks. Judging from the size of the drinks I’d guess it was eight shots of vodka and six cans of Red Bull.

Now on to bodily battleground. When I got home (I didn’t drive) I was drunk enough to fall asleep nearly immediately. However, it turns out that my body can process alcohol much faster than it can process caffeine. Thus three hours after falling asleep I wake up in the full “wide-awake-and-wired” mode.

I get up and head downstairs and flip on the TV. Jules hears me, and wakes up as well. Now it’s 4:30 am and we’re both awake. “I, Robot” is just starting. We watch the movie, the sun rise, and each have a bowl of cereal before we start our day.

2005-07-09T22:46:00.000-05:00

Brook Trout -- small, but still a fish...

2005-07-09T22:43:00.000-05:00

Fishing Vacation

The Truth about Hillary

2005-06-23T10:38:00.000-05:00

June 23, 2005

Ms. Marjorie Scardino
CEO
Pearson Plc.
80 Strand
London, WC2R 0RL
UK

Dear Marjorie,

I hope this letter finds you well and enjoying the summer. I’m writing you today because as a Pearson employee and shareholder I’m concerned about the actions of Penguin’s Sentinel Press division.

I’m certain you’re aware of the incredibly bad press being generated by the reviews of Sentinel’s soon-to-be-released title The Truth about Hillary written by Edward Klein. If you are unaware of the growing storm, you can find the issues summarized at http://mediamatters.org.

The book features plenty of gay-baiting, homophobic innuendo and does its best to paint Hillary Clinton as a lesbian. Things kick off early in the book. On page 12 we’re treated to the following unsubstantiated rumors:

• Was it true they slept in separate beds?
• Were there any telltale signs on the presidential sheets that they ever had sex with each other?
• For that matter, did the Big Girl [Hillary Clinton] have any interest in sex with a man?
• Or, as was widely rumored, was she a lesbian?

Is Pearson really going to speculate on the bed sheets of a former president? Refer to a former First Lady as “Big Girl”? It gets worse.

The book also alleges that Chelsea Clinton is the result of former President Bill Clinton raping Hillary while they were on vacation. The author is already changing his story about this claim. Is Pearson really going to accuse a former president of raping his wife?

Penguin editor Will Weisser is quoted in the April 12 New York Post saying "he hoped that The Truth about Hillary would do to Clinton what the Swift Boat Veterans bestseller did to Kerry. That would be our fondest wish.”

Enough about the book, I’m certain you’ll investigate its contents for yourself.

My concern as a shareholder centers on this book’s possible tarnishing of the Pearson brand and especially our higher-education brands. How long before a group of professors or students begin asking the question “How can we trust Pearson’s textbooks if they’re willing to publish this kind of trash?” How many educational adoptions do we risk if student groups begin protesting the book?

As an employee, I’m embarrassed. Pearson has higher editorial standards than those exemplified by this book. This is about greed. The same editor ended his interview with the New York Post saying “We’re just trying to sell books.”

I hope we do the right thing and cancel the book. That truly would be brave, imaginative and decent.

So what's really going on in Iraq

2005-06-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled across an article from Patrick Buchanan titled "Is it an unwinnable 'Republican war'?"

In his article, Mr. Buchanan points out the confusing conflict of opinion concerning our progress there:

Vice President Cheney dismisses the insurgency as in its "last throes."
CIA Director Porter Goss says, "They're not quite in their last throes, but ... they're very close to it."
Sen. Joe Biden says Goss should talk to "his intelligence people on the ground. They didn't suggest at all that it was near its last throes. Matter of fact, it's getting worse, not better."
John McCain says we face "a long hard slog ... It's going to be at least a couple of more years."
Sen. Chuck Hagel, a McCain backer in 2000, says: "Things aren't getting better. They're getting worse ... The reality is that we're losing in Iraq."

Even the administration and its spin doctors on GOP-TV (FOX) can't agree on their story. Through it all, our president remains irresponsibly ignorant. When you make decisions based upon your gut, or upon faith, you risk the facts of the situation not matching up. That's what we have here.

Don't take my word for it. Check out the charts below that show US military deaths and injuries by month since we started the war. Does it look like things are getting better yet? You can keep track of the numbers at the Iraq Coalition Casualty Count web site.

US Soldier Deaths in Iraq

US Soldier Injuries in Iraq

This will make you laugh

2005-06-22T07:58:00.000-05:00

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is a guest weatherman on a local Hawaii television station. I wish he were on Indy's nightly news. Start laughing now.

Corporate America

2005-06-17T12:19:00.000-05:00

They're like the fish in an evaporating African waterhole. Instead of looking to get out, they're all fighting to get to the deep part of the puddle. At least they'll die last...

2005-06-13T16:46:00.000-05:00

Proof that if your rich enough, white enough, and have really good lawyers you'll never go to jail.

It's an easy statement to make. Of course it's completely uninformed opinion. I wasn't a juror, haven't bothered to read up on the case, and basically know nothing other than MJ has been accused before and that he's a bit eccentric.

Being uninformed will not stop the nation's media from complaining about our justice system and our "activist courts". It'll play in the conservative Christian community as "another pedophile" let loose by the courts. Rush Limbaugh will have a blast with this, one uninformed joke after another. But hey, since when have facts really informed public opinion.

Of course, if MJ was a creepy-looking dude with a mullet who lived in a trailer park, he'd be in jail now...

2005-06-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

Another bumpersticker I'd like to see